Still Smiling

How can you not smile at this....

She's making me smile even though it's been a not so fun day full of calling doctors. That one word from my "mama sash" hemmrhoids has turned into 2 words- general surgeon. After talking with my OBGYN they've recommended me to go see a surgeon about my wonderful hemmrhoids my little girl is technically responsible for. I lucked out and did get into not 1 but 2 specialists tomorrow, I was amazed they got me in the next day. I was glad they did because we're switching insurances on the 1st so this will still get covered under my old insurance which we've definitely met the deductible this year with Aubrey. So yeah, it's been a busy day and tomorrow will not be fun at all but at least we will be getting closer to getting things figured out and back to normal. Nobody tells you how messed up your body gets after having a baby, they should include that in all those silly TLC baby shows. Maybe I could pitch a new show.....instead of bringing home baby we could call it 5 weeks after baby. They could tell you how it really is, stretch marks, constipation, huge "engorged" boobs (which fyi is the most not pleasant word ever!). Anyway, enough about the grossness and more about the cuteness. But if you would just keep us in your thoughts or prayers and we're hoping they find a quick and easy fix to this problem.

Miss Aubrey wore a pair of my pajamas the other night. Colleen cracked me up when I told her this and she pictured a pair of huge pjs on this tiny baby. No, this was a sleeper when I was a baby. It's got Care Bears on it and she looked pretty darn cute.

Today we also had a popsicle date with the girls and Aidan. My new favorite thing during this ridiculous heat.


I think another popsicle date will be needed tomorrow after the not so fun doctor's appointments. At least I get to show off my cute baby, haha. Way to look on the bright side of things Amanda.

Aubrey is a talker

Daddy you're a good pillow.

Meeting Aunt Alisha and Uncle Jeff

Aubrey got to meet another aunt and uncle this weekend. Kyle's sister and brother-in-law came down to visit. She is a lucky little girl to have so many people that love her sooo much. Here are a few pictures from our weekend.

We went to dinner at our favorite restaurant Crawdaddy's and ate outside on the patio. It was pretty hot but Aubrey was great during dinner. We also took them to our favorite ice cream place, we definitely have a routine down for when family comes in town it usually consists of these two places.

Aunt Alisha and Uncle Jeff got me this adorable bow.

Aubrey slept on Uncle Jeff for like 3 hours. Miley was pretty cute laying with them too.

We bbqed with the neighbors and had a delicious dinner with everybody. I also finally had a glass of wine, it was divine, it was heaven, it was great :) My little girl was totally worth it though and I possibly like her more than a margarita, ok correction I LOOOOVE my little girl sooo much more than a margarita. My how life changes in a year.




Today Alarie's friend took some pictures of Aubrey and Aidan together and then some with Aubrey by herself. They were pretty cute and I can't wait to see them. As soon as I get them I'll definitely be putting them up. We've decided 1 naked baby is pretty cute, but 2 naked babies!!! There's nothing cuter!

What's that new fragrance you're wearing?

So I feel like I should be on an add for a new perfume. That perfume would be the wonderful smelling, long lasting baby spit up! Our exciting morning included pooping all over the blanket (Aubrey not me) and then she proceeded to spit up all over my neck (right where you would put perfume anyway). She didn't get a drop on her but I definitely had it all over, thanks Miss Aubrey. Instead of being grossed out, I'm accepting it with loving arms (ok not totally loving arms) but pretty much accepting the fact that I'm a mom now....WEIRD!! I still can't get over the fact that Kyle and I have a baby....A BABY!!! Anyway, I'm accepting that I'm going to smell like spit up from time to time and there's going to be poop on things there hasn't been poop on before...wait shouldn't the only place that should have been is the toilet yep that's the only place it's been. So now my little girl is exhausted from her hard morning of liquid coming from both ends. Here's at least a cute picture of her afterwards...hard life huh?

P.S.- The weirdest poop place has been my phone. Yep, my phone was on the dresser with her changing pad and it was a good distance away, but once I got that diaper off Aubrey insisted on hitting it dead on. That was an interesting one.

PPS- Here's a video of her sucking that pacifier to death, she has the jaws of life when it comes to sucking (just ask my boobs).

PPPS- Because of the hard sucking, she does this and leaves a mark on her face from the pacifier, pretty funny.

Mama Sash

One of my favorite blogs Dear Baby talked about the "invisible mama sash". Her post was about changing a baby at a restaurant without a changing table. She said that mom's have invisible sashes just like girls scouts. So I had the same exact thing happen last week when we went out to eat with my sis and mom. I was able to hold a squirming baby on my knees while sitting on the toilet and change a diaper. Yes, please add a badge to my "mama sash". My new badge I added today was a full diaper blow out. We've had bad blow outs before, but this time Aubrey was able to projectile onto my phone. Yep, she pooped on my phone. My other badge I need to add......1 word: hemmrhoids, definitely deserve a badge forliving through this one. Mommahood has defintely been a ride this past month and I'm looking forward to all the new adventures and excitement that being a mom has in store for me.

Here's a cute picture of Kyle already studying with his baby girl.

And of course a video. Kyle was kissing Aubrey's feet and she kept lifting her feet up for him to do it again. Of course as soon as I got out my camera she stopped, but I did catch her do it once. Sorry about how dark the video is, we had two lightbulbs go out in our really tall ceiling so we haven't gotten a new bulb in there yet.

They're HERE!!!!

Aubrey's newborn photo pictures came today. I can not thank my amazing friend Heather enough for taking pictures of our little one. She was 8 days in this picture and she's changed so much already. Here is one of my favorites, but you can click here and check out the rest of them. Thanks again Heather, you are such an awesome photographer.

1 Month Old

Well little girl, you're one month old today. I have mixed feelings about this. I'm excited for you to grow and learn new things. It's been so neat to see you start to smile and talk (goo and ga). At the same time, I want you to stay little forever. I even still want to be pregnant with you in my belly and then I have you alllll to myself. You have grown and changed already and I bet will continue to change like crazy over this first year. Some of my favorite things you do:
-Move your head back and forth when you're hungry and you play with your food before you eat it. (We'll just leave it at that).
-Stretch for 10 minutes when you wake up. You don't like waking up, just like me.
-Make the cutest face when you wrinkle your forehead.
-Lift your head when you're trying to fall asleep on my shoulder and then slam it back down like it's not worth it, you'll just give in and sleep.
-You love your changing table and you just lay there and smile and talk to things.

We went to the doctor today and you've grown, yay my boobs work!!! You weigh 10 lbs. 14 oz. now and you are 23 inches long (you've grown 2 inches). The doctor said you looked good and we had a much better experience at this office than the last one. Next month you get shots when we go back, we'll see how that goes.

My mom and sister came to visit this weekend and we just relaxed all weekend. We did make it out to our favorite restaurant Crawdaddy's and got ice cream afterwards. Grandma and Aunt Kimmy loved rocking Aubrey and we had a designated burper and diaper changer, my mom! I wish she lived here to do those things all the time for us. I had a great time with them and I'm sad they had to leave. It never gets easier, there's always a bunch of tears and a bunch of hugs. Here are a few pictures from the weekend.

Aunt Kimmy got Aubrey a stuffed fish. Kyle is hoping it will be her favorite stuffed animal. You've heard of Build a Bear, well Kimberly did Build a Fish and did a voice recording on here for Aubrey. It's pretty cute.

Aunt Kimmy taking a morning snooze with Aubrey.

Grandma giving Aubrey a bath.

Aubrey looooves taking a bath, she just chills in the tub. All she needs is a book and a glass of wine and she's set, maybe we'll wait 21 years for that.

Grandma and Aubrey at our favorite restaurant.

Thanks guys for coming down to visit, we miss you already!!

Ok, can't do a post without a video anymore. Here's some more hiccups but this time she was just talking up a storm. Something about baby hiccups, aren't they just the cutest thing ever!

My Post Baby Body

Well it's been 3 1/2 weeks since I've had Aubrey, I don't want her to get bigger or older at all. Somebody at a store asked, How new is she? This is my new favorite, why ask how old people they are, that's so pepssimistic, how new are you is going to be my new question. I was so happy to say 3 weeks new :) Ok, that's not what this post is about, back on track. So when I first left the hospital I definitely looked like I was 6 months pregnant still, but after a few weeks my tummy has well.....deflated. My boobs on the other hand have inflated! My butt has also deflated, unfortunately. Bartosiaks have NO butts and it was nice to actually have a butt for a change. I still have 15 lbs. to get back to pre-baby weight, but I'm in no rush. Right now I'm just enjoying Aubrey and not focused on shedding this weight. It took 9 months to put on and I'm thinking it's not all going to shrink in 3 weeks.

Here's the play by play. Me at 39 weeks.

Me 3 weeks post baby girl.

I had this little girl in me 3 weeks ago! Oh, and yes we do own clothes she just spits up and poops on everything and it seems like we always have the camera out in the middle of changes.

Aubrey's First Date!

Aidan came over for their first date, it was pretty cute. They were both sleeping in their bouncers while we all had dinner. We bbqed the other night with the neighbors and it's pretty awesome living right next door to each other. We all just grabbed something from our houses and ate at our awesome craigs listed 6 person table, woo hoo. Here's a picture of all of us, but really you can see we just stare at the babies. Colleen was a good pacifier watcher, as soon as Aubrey would lose her pacifier Colleen would put it back in for her. Chuck was funny and told her, you know you don't get paid for that right. Colleen definitely loves her neighbor babies!

Here's a couple videos that we took this weekend. The first is of us trying to get a smile out of Aubrey. She's due for that first smile any day now so we're trying.


This one is of her cute little sound that she makes when she's sucking on her pacifier. She likes to talk herself to sleep with this adorable noise. And yes, we're mean and kept taking the pacifier out just to catch this.


So Kyle was having Aubrey lay on her stomach the other day and we heard her sucking on her arm but didn't think anything of it. Well when he picked her up he saw that she had sucked so hard that she had given herself a hickey. Awww, Aubrey's first hickey....BETTER BE THE ONLY ONE! I tried getting a picture of it, but this is about all I could get.


This is a balloon we got when Aubrey was born and I've been sad that it's getting lower and lower to the ground. Once it's on the ground I know she's older :( How big of a dork am I.


Ok, one more cute picture...naked baby pictures are the cutest.

My lil stretcher

Ok, so not too little because my chunker just was weighed today and now weighs 8 lbs. 6 oz., woo hoo! She's actually getting something. Aubrey is the cutest thing ever when she's trying to wake up. She takes about 10-15 minutes to stretch and finally wake up. She may look like Kyle but sleeps like me. I'm not the best morning person or best person to wake up. So here's a video of my stretcher. The cutest is when she raises her eyebrows and wrinkles her forehead, C-U-T-E!

I actually got a shower today (which is kind of difficult with a newborn) and I let Aubrey sleep on our bed in the boppy. When I got out of the shower look who I found snuggling with her. Bailey has done great with Aubrey and I think she will love her puppy once she gets older.

Birth Story: Part 2 (FINALLY at the Hospital!)

Again, forewarning if you get grossed out...don't read this! This is for me and for my baby girl (someday when she's much, much older).

Well we finally made it over to the hospital around 4:00 pm on Friday, June 18th. I made sure to eat a snack in the parking garage before going in (any of my friends that are pregnant and reading this...EAT before you go to the hospital, you get cut off once you get in so take advantage of eating something). I even fixed my makeup before going into be admitted, I know I'm a big dork.

We were admitted and I got to put one of those lovely, stylish gowns on and we had a great nurse that was even pregnant too. Here is a picture of when we first got there, we took some video but the progression of pictures is even funnier.

Once I got hooked up to the monitors, IV was in and all that good stuff we started....can you guess...yep more WALKING! We started doing laps around the OB floor. I was so thankful that we did a lot of walking at the mall beforehand because the OB floor wasn't very exciting. Dr. Vick came in and broke my water around 4:30 pm or so and that wasn't bad at all. Some of my girlfriends had said that it hurt, it wasn't the most fun thing in the world but it wasn't that bad. When I pictured my water breaking I pictured just some water and then that was it, nope I didn't realize how much "water" or amniotic fluid was actually in there. Before we started walking again they were going to tie a towel around me like a big sumo wrestler diaper and I said NO WAY, so instead I just went through about an entire pack of pads and 2 pairs of underwear. (hence the forewarning, sorry I'm not holding back- I'm as honest as it gets). After walking and being checked every once in a while our nurse suggested starting pitocin. Now I have been scared of pitocin from the get go. Breaking my water, no biggie, stripping my membranes, I can handle it. Now pitocin I've been scared that as soon as they start that contractions are going to come hard and fast and since we were trying the no epidural thing this pitocin scared the living crap out of me. Here's a picture of pitocin being started, not as happy as before but still looking pretty good.

We finally gave in around 8:00 pm to start pitocin because I was still at about a good 'ol 3 cm (Aubrey had decided she was going to take her sweet time, she's got 24 hrs. in there anyway once the break the water so she was going to relax for a while). Once pitocin started the walking stopped. Kyle kept telling me to stop walking because I would need energy later to push, I really just think he was getting tired of walking, haha. The pitocin did start the contractions a lot harder and closer together. I started using an exercise ball and bouncing and it helped out a lot. I even was served a delicious popsicle, Kyle made fun of me for telling him on camera the flavor was red. He said red isn't a flavor, I thought I'm in labor with your baby for all I care lamp can be a flavor if I want it to be. I also would cheat and sip the water from my ice chip cup, I remember telling Kyle shhhh don't tell the nurses, I'm cheating... Here's the progression picture of at about 5 cm or so and my awesome massouse (however you spell that).

At this point Kyle was also rubbing my back during every contraction. I lucked out and got back labor, YAYYYY!!! NOT! The contractions were still just feeling like a really bad back ache or cramps. The ball got old after a while and then we tried standing through the contractions and that helped out for a while. I was so lucky to have a husband that understood medicine and was able to tell me when the contractions were going down. He would look at the monitor and tell me ok it's going back down. Not that I couldn't tell when it was going up or down but it just helped to have that reassurance. We started guessing what time Aubrey would come and my guess was about 2:45 am and Kyle guessed more around 4:00 am. Well we were both way wrong. Kyle later on said he thought it was like the price is right and didn't want to go over on his time guess.

At about 1:00 or 2:00 am the contractions had been pretty intense and Kyle decided to snap this last lovely picture of his beautiful wife, I think getting checked by the nurse during the picture (yep Kyle is a sicko and I told you I was honest, even showing you me at my worst).

I had been on 7 cm for what felt like forever and by this time we had a new nurse (which I thought was going to be awful by the way, but ended up being wonderful!). I kept on telling her just check me, I wanted to hear those magic words- Yep, you're at a 9 or a 10. But nope I kept just hearing- Still a 7. Every time she checked me I thought 7, how the heck can I still just be a 7! We tried everything to get me to progress- switching positions, even had me on all fours which was not the most pleasant position to be in during labor. I know I love yoga and all but no fancy yoga positions during labor please. By this time the best way to go through contractions was sitting on the edge of the bed having my mom or the nurse rub my back and then digging my head into Kyle's shoulder. All the while Kyle had his knees stuck into the hospital bed. He started pulling me towards him and with a satan like voice I said, NO, you come to me, you come to me!!! He put up with a lot, he even only went to the bathroom TWICE the whole time I was in labor. Later I asked if he just had a catheter put in or something.

They started setting up the room for delivery at about 3:00 am and Kyle said ok it won't be long......and he was W-R-O-N-G. But that's ok, he had good intentions. They finally decided that I was stuck at a 7 (no crap, I could've told you that) but since changing positions didn't work we would either have to do an epidural or pain medicine to decrease my "swollen cervix" (sorry for the details). I decided I had gone this long without an epidural why give in now so we opted for the pain medicine that would supposedly make me tired and maybe let me sleep through contractions. Well I did get some sleep during the few minutes of down time but was definitely awake for the contractions. Our doctor had come in for another delivery (which at the time I was told I was the only person in labor at the time so this lady came in AFTER me and was having a baby BEFORE me....what the crap! I was so mad and the nurse just said it's not first come first serve....well to any OB nurses and OBGYN doctors, I think that's how it should be). Our doctor finally decided I wouldn't dilate on my own (stubborn Aubrey) so he had to manually dilate me as I started to push.

Pushing started around 5:00 am and it was pretty crazy. It actually didn't hurt as bad as the contractions and I was just so happy to finally be closer to an end and a beginning of our new baby girl. Now this is where it starts getting funny. My mom, Kyle's mom, Kyle's Dad and brother are all right outside the door. My mom even found access to my monitor and was explaining the contractions and all that to the Totis. Kyle, my doctor, and the nurse were having wonderful conversations during the down time of my contractions. I would be sitting there huffing and puffing from pushing a baby out of me and they would be sitting there discussing Kyle's rotations and oh just life in general.

I had originally thought I didn't want Kyle to deliver I wanted him to be by me and not as I said "down there" and being a medical student. Well once I realized up by me was down there (my feet I swear were like a pretzel behind my head). I told Kyle you can deliver. Well then they started what seemed like the 15 minute discussion about Kyle's hand and glove size. They were trying to get gloves that fit him and I started having a contraction so I'm supposed to start pushing, right. WRONG, my doctor said sit this one out. SIT THIS ONE OUT!!! I wanted to jump off the table grab some gloves and put them on Kyle myself by that point. He got his size medium gloves on (gotta make sure they fit perfectly, don't worry about me) and he stood there like any med student would and tried not to break the "sterile field". Well the dr. and nurses were touching the table, touching my leg, picking up trash off the road (ok they weren't doing that), but silly Kyle is just standing there with his hands in front of him not touching a thing. Finally Kyle and the doctor started getting Aubrey's head out, which was awesome and she was finally coming, finally here!!! Again, skip this next sentence if you don't want details. Kyle later on told me (thank god he didn't tell me during labor) that Aubrey was like the tide, she'd come out a little bit and then go back in, come out and then go back in. I think I would have killed him if he used that metaphor while I was pushing. Finally at 6:23 am he got his little girl's head and shoulders out and then the doctor told me to grab her. This was another thing I never thought I would do, I knew my doctor did that with his patients and told my girlfriends that's what I'm paying him for, he's supposed to get her out. But I was sooo wrong by that time I wanted so bad just to see her, just to hold her, and especially just to get her OUT of me. It was an amazing experience, there were definitely tears flowing and Kyle was sooo proud and ran his little girl out in the hallway to show her off to Grandmas, Grandpa, and Uncle Cole. Aubrey was a screamer and screamed from the time she came out until about 2 hours later.


When the nurse asked Kyle and I if we wanted her to stay there with us, we were both so exhausted we both said Nooo, take her. So after about 2 1/2 days, what seemed like 5 miles of walking, a super supportive husband that rubbed my back for about 8 hours straight, we finally have our perfect, precious, baby girl. We love you Aubrey Lynne and wouldn't have had this whole birth experience any other way because the end results were just amazing, we got you.

Love,
Your Momma

Oh, p.s. another funny tid bit. When you were about here, I decided I needed my bra off so we could start breastfeeding as soon as you were born. (Which fyi, those pregnant girlfriends again, a hospital gown is not the most comfortable thing to go without a bra in, definitely noooooo support.) So during a down time of a contraction I decided to try and reach behind me and take my bra off, well I didn't realize that with the IV in I wouldn't be able to get it all the way off. So I remember getting it most of the way off and then realize it was hanging by the IV cord, I was about to push again so I just thought screw it, I'll deal with it later. Well after you were born the nurse came over to check my IV and said, Oh, there's a bra on here and started laughing. I told her why I had done that and she said oh that was a good idea. See your momma is smart, always thinking one step ahead.

Birth Story: Early Labor (Yep this deserves 2 posts)

Ok, well I've been putting off writing Aubrey's birth story but if I wait any longer, I'm afraid I will forget (although I feel it's very hard to forget an experience like that). I debated on whether putting it on my blog, but my blog is basically like Aubrey's fancy online baby book so it's only fair to her and to me that I write it all down. Here is the forewarning, if you don't want to hear about labor or delivery then do NOT read on, haha. I want to get it all down so I never forget about the birth of our baby girl and so she can always know "her story".

Well labor actually started on June 17th techincally. We had an appointment in Knoxville so we got up bright and early and made the drive to Knoxville. I was excited to see if I had progressed any after the move to Cookeville. We packed up the car with our hospital bags and the car seat just in case. Little did we know that we should have packed a lot more because we didn't think we would be staying there until we had you. Dr. Vick checked me at my appointment and I hadn't changed any, but he did strip my membranes and he said I was a trooper. He stopped and said he didn't want to do too much. Well I was ready for you and I told him to keep going but he didn't. I was determined to get something started so I made Kyle walk around Target and East Town Mall. Well your Dad was dallying around and I was on a mission and that was to walk you out of me!! We did some major walking and then decided it was time to head back home.

We didn't make it to the Turkey Creek exit before I realized I was having contractions and we started timing them and they were about 5 minutes apart. Your dad didn't think I was in labor yet, he kept asking me what I thought. All I kept saying was I've never had a baby, I have no idea what labor is supposed to feel like. We decided to hang out around Turkey Creek before heading home to see if the contractions stopped or not. We sat at a Borders for 30 minutes and your dad was looking at a COMLEX review book and I was staring at the cover of a Glamour magazine. Your dad asked why I wasn't reading and I said because I "THINK" I am in labor! We decided it was time to call Dr. Vick's office. So we did and he said come back and they'll check me again. We went back and nothing had changed but they got me on a monitor and I was having contractions about 7-8 minutes apart. We thought awesome, this is it. Well then they told us this was early labor and that we should just hang around Knoxville and come the next morning to see how things were going.

We decided to get a hotel room in Knoxville and see if we would go in the middle of the night or make it tot he next morning. Well we definitely made it until the next morning. We went into the doctor at 9 am and the nurse practitioner checked me and still the same. She told us to go eat a big lunch and do some walking and come back at noon. We went and walked West Town Mall with all the morning mall walkers and kept up with them pretty well. We went and had our "big lunch" since they thought we might not eat for a while and went back to be checked. Annnnnndddd I was the same. They told us to come back later, do MORE walking, and eat another "big lunch/dinner". We did our walking and man did I make Kyle walk. We walked all around East Town Mall again and I was still having contractions about 5 or so minutes apart. We had walked so much that we were both tired and before going back to the doctor we went to rest at Kyle's mom's hotel downtown. I took a quick nap and Kyle tried some CV 4 before going back to the doctor.

We got to see our doctor this time and I told Kyle if nothing has changed and if we don't get to walk across the street to the hospital, I'm going to cry. The nurses were all shocked that I hadn't gone into "active" labor yet. My doctor checked me and he said I was still at about a 2 cm dilated, but a little more 2, whatever that means. Thennnn he said well let's go break your water. I asked him, you aren't kidding, right??? I felt like we had been in and out of the doctor's office 5 billion times and that finally we would get to see our baby girl. Well that part of "active" labor still took a while and that deserves a post all in itself. We were just so relieved to finally be going to the hospital after A LOT of walking and A LOT of waiting.

First Bath

Aubrey had her first bath the other night and she was a slippery little snot. It definitely takes 4 hands to bathe a newborn. Kyle was giving me crap about her not having her newborn baby smell anymore but instead she had Johnson & Johnson lotion smell, which is just as good. Here's a video of Aubrey Lynne's first bath. She actually enjoyed it and didn't scream her head off.

This weekend my dad came to visit so Pa pa got to meet Aubrey for the first time. He came down by himself so he got to hog her and didn't have to share her with anyone else. We went to a boat dock restaurant, we BBQed, we went to church, and went to see fireworks last night. We had a great visit and hate when family has to leave. Thanks dad for coming to see us (I mean, Aubrey, because we know she's the only one that matters anymore).


Watching her first fireworks, well she slept through them and we actually watched her more than the fireworks.

Sitting in Pa pa's truck, with her favorite Illinois dress on (haha).

Oh, ps- Other exciting news in our lives is that my sister Kathy got engaged yesterday and Aubrey's boyfriend will be moving in tomorrow. We're excited to have the Ornburns right next door. Overall it's been a pretty darn good weekend.

Oh pps- Another picture that my friend Heather took. As soon as I get more I'll definitely post them.